Whether you’re moving fat stacks or stacking the deck, make sure you re-up your Righteous Felon supply at @magpiesmoderngeneral in Sanford, Florida before your next criminal outing.  They’ve got one wild stack of RF Craft Jerky over there.  Heck, behold the above: They’ve practically built FelonHenge from RF bags and Toobs!  Don’t delay.  This beautiful impromptu sculpture made of Baby Blues and Voodoo Chile won’t last.  It’s only a matter of time before hungry customers cause it to collapse!  Jerky Jenga, folks.  Jerky Jenga! #righteousfelon #writeyourownrules

Like an unstoppable sun liquefying winter’s remaining frost and snow, so too will the wildfire that is Habanero Escobar liquefy your tastebuds. The epitaph will read: “Here, once upon a time, there were tastebuds. But the Escobar was too darn delicious. And the madman tasked with keeping this tongue safe was an inferno junkie the likes of which the Craft Jerky game had never seen. Discovering Righteous Felon was the greatest thing that ever happened to the man. His tongue however, has been reduced to a pile of ashes.” If you’ve got the psychotic spice-bug that pushes brave souls to devour devilishly hot, pyrotechnic dishes, add Habanero Escobar and Voodoo Chile to your hit list. So spicy, they both pair best with a local anesthetic. #righteousfelon #writeyourownrules

It’s never too late to slap your snow-tires back on your bike and a bag of Chipotle Guevara in your back-pocket. Both are advantageous tools that can get you out of a pinch in times of trouble. Both can help you evade the police in a high octane arctic tundra chase that concludes with a beefy bribe.  But only one creates a Flavor Revolution among your tastebuds, by merging mild chili powders and cumin with tenderized, all-American beef. Come for the adrenaline, stick around for the Righteous Felon Jerky. When it’s freewheelin’ flavor and finger-licking rebellion you seek, make it a bag of Che - he keeps the authorities away. #righteousfelon #writeyourownrules

Traipsing across the Cliffs of Moher with the blood-red-banner of the Righteous Felon Jerky Cartel might seem like a death-wish. Being associated with one of the world’s MOST WANTED criminal organizations is not something to be spelled out, lest you want a target on your back. But frankly, @mymanquinnie didn’t give a damn. He spread the flag emblazoned with Righteous “R” and Felonious “F” for all to stare at, for all to see. 60 seconds later the constables were on his trail. Repelling down the cliffs during gale force winds may not have been a wise move, but self-preservation makes lunatics of us all. As his speedboat cruised away from the cliffs the constables clenched their fists for being had. @mymanquinnie and RF had eluded the Guards yet again. All that remained was his calling card: a two-ounce of O.G. Hickory for each police. #writeyourownrules #righteousfelon