A few weeks ago I changed my profile to say "thriving with depression" and a few of you messaged me about how it was inspiring to see it was a possible thing to do.
It wasn't like that for me 2.5 years ago. Back then it was dark, hopeless and I really couldn't see it changing.
I remember sitting with my psychiatrist for the first time. My husband had found me in the fetal position crying and just upset. I couldn't get past the darkness. I couldn't shake the despair that I thought I was able to handle even just a few weeks prior.
So husband made the steps I couldn't and got an appointment for me.
He came to our house. Which was a mess. I was a mess. I was wearing pajamas and I doubt I had showered.
And I just remember sitting there as he asked me questions and I numbly answered them.
Then, he said something that stuck with me. "There is hope you know. We can get you the help you need. So that someday you will be able to live with depression and be happy"
Something stirred in me. Was that true? Because at that moment my mind had successfully warped me into thinking I was never going to feel happy.
How could someone be happy AND live with depression?
But I'm doing it. It isn't easy every day. In fact many days, it is still a down right battle to feel happy. But because of support through my husband, my therapist, medication, friends, church I have been able to build my life so that when those feelings come, when that darkness starts to creep into my head, I know how to stop it.
So now, when I look back on that day I know I can say, yes I am happy. No, the depression isn't gone. I honestly doubt it will ever go.
But that's ok.
Because I'm Thriving ❤️ Double tap if you also have struggle with depression and are now thriving.