For so long I felt lost, broken, & alone. I was on anti-anxiety meds, I was afraid of an uncertain future, & I was just angry. I’ve seen posts recently on “If it costs you your peace it’s too expensive!” Do I agree? YES! Does it inspire me? ABSO-EFFING-LUTLY! Does it mean I’ve given up? HELL-TO-THE-NO! Giving up would have been swallowing that concoction in my medicine cabinet the night I was so broken I couldn’t see a way through. The night I was so mad at GOD I would have done anything to spite Him. God didn’t actually talk to me, but I could just imagine what he was thinking “Girl! I’m NOT DONE! YOU DUMB! SLEEP!” After 3 flashes, one of my husband, family, & friends that's exactly what happened. After months of sleepless nights the next thing I remember is waking up thanking God for saving my life. I am so incredibly ashamed, but I believe I needed that to make sure I got to where I am today. Even though I chose to forgo additional fertility treatments, it doesN'T mean I’ve given up on ME, & finding my PEACE. After a year and a half of faking my way through life, I made the decision that I needed more out of the life I was surviving. I needed to put a purpose to my pain, to share my story in the hopes that even if one person was ready to give up I could show that it IS possible to come out the other side. I decided I want to live my life knowing that Gods plan for my life is so much greater than anything I could ever imagine. I want the kind of faith that I don’t need to understand why I’ve had to face infertility, but I can find peace in knowing that I want Gods will to be done in all things. I want the faith to be able to not understand where I’m going but go anyway. Jesus says “…that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” I’ve had my fair share of tribulations, but I’ve turned to Jesus and I’ve found my peace. Life if rough, but I believe Jesus is everything from the beginning to the end, but in middle there are doctors, therapy, rehab, etc. Pray, look to Jesus, & use your resources. Even though I may be a Pineapple, I refuse to surrender my Happiness any longer!